Happy Tuesday, Booknerdigans!
Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly book meme created by the ladies over at the Broke and the Bookish. This features all things book-related that one considers as personal best.
Since Valentine’s day is just around the corner, this week’s topic is a freebie related to the season. There’s seriously an immense unnecessary hype for February 14 which is immensely unnecessary. Wait, I’ve mentioned that. Not being a Grinch or anything but I decided to out-and-out boycott the day and simply declare it an ordinary Sunday. Love isn’t supposed to be beheld just on February 14 but rather 24/7, yeah?
For this post, I’d like to bitch about the hype for a while and go totally contrary to the norms. Sorry I’m not sorry. This week, I’m featuring the fictional couples on a Valentine’s date that will surely either make you throw up your lunch or roll your eyes over their awkwardness.
Celaena Sardothien and Dorian Havilliard (Throne of Glass Series by Sarah J. Maas)
WARNING: You’re about to see some serious loathing on the proceeding sections so if you’re a fan of this ship, stay out.
Celaena and Dorian should never go out on a date, much more go out in public (probably because I’m more into Chaol). Their orgasm is seriously never under control. Half the time in Throne of Glass they spent making out and.. making out some more. I’m sure everyone’s familiar of the uncomfortable feeling of watching people canoodling like there’s no dawn breaking. Ugh! Excuse me, I’m trying to have a proper dinner!
Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown (Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling)
And since we’re talking about the the lip-locking business, this is one couple that’s certainly nailed it. That wet, sticky smooch Ron and Lavender shared after a Quidditch match practically made me puke. Let me join your club, Hermione!
Ryan Dean West and Annie Altman (Winger by Andrew Smith)
I have nothing against this pair of youngsters except that Ryan Dean is the most perverted adolescent that ever existed in high school yearbook. How would sipping your wine feel like after hearing such pervy words from a lovesick teen from across another table?
Alina Starkov and Malyen Oretsev (The Grisha Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo)
WARNING (2): I. AM. NOT. SHIPPING. THIS. SORRYNOTSORRY.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the Grisha world and all things else about it except for this couple. I’ve read through the entire trilogy which is over 1000 pages in total and I’ve never once felt them. Seriously, if they go out on Valentine’s they’d look like two plain persons having dinner with occasional hand holdings.
Ashlin and Derek (Burn for Burn by Jenny Han)
If you’ve read this trilogy, you’ve tread through a hard path of bearing this on-off-on-again-off-again relationship between Ashlin and Derek. It’s scary to see them out on a date and witness their expected bickering. Careful, that plate might fly over your head!
Lola and Cricket Bell (Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins)
My real issue here is Lola and her wild costumes. There’s liberty of expression in most countries so I shouldn’t have anything against her preference for clothes. But come on, I might not enjoy my steak if someone dressed as Marie Antoinette is sitting right on the next table. Oh and she might be sweaty and exhausted of the weight of the clothes there.
Mia Hall and Adam Wilde (If I Stay by Gayle Forman)
Ahh I missed expressing my strong contempt against this couple! It’s been a while since they made it to an entry on my book memes.
Me telling these two not to go out on Valentine’s is actually me doing them a favor. I’m saving them from an eventual embarrassment of their attempt to cuddle with each other a la stringing a violoncello (remember that part?).
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan
DISCLAIMER: I have never read the book so my reference to this will be the movies.
If you want to hear out my exposition on why these two shouldn’t go out on Valentine’s, just tell me so so I can e-mail you my 500-word essay on that… plus a couple of paragraphs narrating why I never tried the book.
Well, I’m stopping at 8. I’m not huge at hating couples. Sometimes, I ship them. Most of the times, I go totally indifferent and just take them as an auxiliary to a great plot.
Anyway, have a Happy Valentine’s/ Sunday to you!